Eagles make it a little too close

            I had managed to maintain contact with the blonde in the Beemer for about a half hour until she was able to weave through traffic and hit the lights in such a way that I got stonewalled like a fullback on a 21 Dive. I really shouldn't be too proud of my accomplishment, the first 20 minutes of tailing her was getting through the construction on 27th. I don't think she made me, but those little Kraut roadsters got some speed, and I was in the grey murderwagon.

            I trundled back to the office and typed up my findings for Mrs. DuMont. I didn't have a lot to work with. I noted the times that Hubby arrived at the Country Club, and when he left and a description of the girl (what little I saw) and the vehicle. I thought about calling my friend at the DMV; yes, it's true, you can't even apply for the P.I. license unless you have one. I decided against it, and wrote down the Husker vanity plate, 'ZZZIP'. I figured i would decide later if it was clever or not. Right then, I was miffed, tired, a little put out, needed a snack and had a powerful thirst.

            "Where's Jake's?" I asked the empty office. "Right down there," I replied. Not unusual for me to converse with myself, I usually call it thinking aloud. It's never a problem unless I start arguing with myself. Then stuff gets thrown, regrettable things get said and tears flow.

            It was a game day, so I knew Lloyd would have a table and place to sit. I snagged a sammich from one of the dozen sammich concerns in a two block radius and slid into the booth across from Lloyd. Melissa noticed my arrival and slid into the booth as I began unwrapping my sammich. "So, what do you think pairs nicely with a sandwich?" she asked, eyes glinting with the shrouded lights.

            "Bourbon," I said. "Always bourbon. I got an All-American Club, so Jefferson's would be ideal."

Freeeeeedooom!!!

                                           

            "Club," Lloyd said, resignedly. "You always get the club. Why not some variety?"

            "It's the only sandwich named after a weapon," I said, and Took a bite.

            "So," Melissa probed, "If there was a sandwich named after a gun, you'd get that?"

            I nodded as I forced down the mouthful. "Yep. I've already thought of that. Instead of Italian meat trio or whatever they call it, I'd name it a Baretta. If somebody made one called a '1911A1' and it was loaded with meat and cheese, I'd be all over it."

            "OK, you have to explain, that one," Melissa said, still smiling, though.

            I started to say something, I paid brief homage to the kraken, who was lurking beneath a scarlet tank top with 'Huskers' emblazoned across it. "It would feel heavy in the hand and would have great stopping power," Lloyd interrupted.

            Melissa laughed. I don't know if it was at my joke, or Lloyd's delivery. Either way she absconded to get my bourbon, shaking her head. I get that a lot.

            I resumed attacking my sammich. I gestured at Lloyd. "How'd you do, today. Nebraska won, right?"

            Lloyd sighed a big sigh. I braced myself. "Up 22-0 at the half, should have been at least 38-0, 34-0 would have been reasonable. Had to settle for four field goals after getting into the Red Zone. The offense moved the ball well, just kind of lacked something inside the 20. The defense actually did well, in the first half. Southern Miss had six possessions in the first half, three 3&Outs, a punt, a fumble and a missed field goal. So, at halftime, Nebraska looked completely in control. Drew Brown even hit a 50-yarder, he was 5-for-5 by halftime. Things looked awesome."

            "So, what happened?" I asked as I started in on the second half of my sammich, and Melissa dropped off my bourbon and gave my shoulder a little bump with her hip. The saucy minx.

            "First possession," Lloyd explained, "Tommy throws a pick, not a bad pick, and a good play by the USM linebacker, after the return, they are set up at the 16 of Nebraska. Two plays later, touchdown, it is 22-7. No panic. Things like that happen, it's fine."

            "Then what?"

The Little Red Roadster

            "In a nutshell," Lloyd said, "Nebraska had one of those quarters. 2nd quarter against BYU, 1st quarter against Miami, and now, 3rd quarter against Southern Miss. Nebraska had four possessions that resulted in two turnovers, a missed field goal and finally, a touchdown. So, at the end of the third, Nebraska still had a 22-point lead, because the defense made some stops when it had to."

            "So why all the gloom and doom?" I asked. "The vibe around town is like if the Huskers had lost."

            "From an objective, entertainment standpoint, the fourth quarter was awesome. For the back end of the Nebraska defense, 1t was 15 minutes of hell."

            "How was it entertaining?"

            "On top of four touchdowns," Lloyd explained, "we got to see a successful surprise on-side kick, a fake punt attempt, a blocked field goal attempt and a desperation drive at the end of the game."

            "That would be cool...if I didn't have a specific, rooting interest. How about the Hell side?"

            "Starting from the 0:27 mark of the third, Nick Mullins, the USM quarterback, completed 15 of 19 passes for 269 yards and 2 touchdowns. 8 of his 15 completions were for greater than 10 yards. Toss in the ticky-tackiest interference call I've seen in a long time, and the secondary was getting abused like a party girl at a rally full of bikers on poppers."

            I let that image sink in. I was done with my sammich.

            "Mullins threw for 447 yards, against Nebraska. 60% of that was in the fourth quarter," Lloyd finished.

            "So, Huskerfan is mad," I asked, "because they never trailed, and Southern Miss never got closer than eight point?"

            "They should have never gotten that close," Lloyd said, as if explaining a math problem to a kid who'd rather be playing outside, or in the basement, or video games. "It was almost a McNeese State. Confidence level, right now, is at, don't worry about winning the conference, don't worry about winning the division, finishing at .500 would be nice."

            I sat back in the booth, mulling over Lloyd's words. I stared into my bourbon, watching the amber oils swirl and intertwine. My thoughts bipped from Beemers, to cover schemes to krakens. Always with the krakens.