The weekly conference call took on a somber tone, this week. Sure, there are football games coming up, but are they really that important in the grand scheme of things? The greater the distance from the epicenter at Happy Valley you are, the more normal your football worldview is. I wager that every college football fan in the country is averring quite openly that they are glad it didn't happen at their school.
That being said, I will follow my instincts and try to keep an even perspective, and try to maintain an air of normalcy during what has been a horrendously abnormal week.
I got through to Leroix, still basking in the glory of LSU's 9-6 old-school cage match win over Alabama. "What's on the agenda this week, Leroix?" I asked.
"Not a whole Helluva lot. Ah got Les Tigres playin' Western Kentucky. We'd stomp all of Kentucky, so just dealing with the Western Half should be even less of a concern. Ah'm thinkin' that'll be 49-10 for Les Tigres and one step closer to deh National Championship game. Deh Gumps at 'Bammy get to play at Mississippi State. Deh Gumps is maaaaad and ready to take out some o' dey frustrations on deh poor, wittle Bulldogs. Ah'm bettin' that Nick Saban goes for it on every fourth down inside the 40, if dey even have one. Why risk the embarrassment of a missed field goal? Gumps 45, Bullpups 13. Deh only semi-interesting game ah got all week is Arkansas wit' Tennessee. Dis is deh most intrestin' game and it ain't all dat intrestin'. The Piggies are deh third best team in deh division, which is also makes dem deh third best team in deh conference. Tennessee is waaaaaay down from deh good ole' days. Piggies 42, Voles 17."
"Do you have any take on the situation up in Penn State?" I asked, wondering if he even cared about it.
"Deh big thing dat gets me about all of dis, is dat ain't no-one steppin' up and keeping deh victims in dey minds. Everything is revolving around JoePa and deh administration and who did or didn't do what dey should. Ain't no-one pointing out dat dere are at least 8, and maybe as many as 20 young-uns, dat have been scarred for life by dis scumbag (alleged) Sandusky. Ah don' know if it's dis me-first society we all done made for ourselves or what, but deh lack of compassion and humanity for deh victims is depressing. So, as I watch my games dis week, I got to think about what we, as humans, can do to make it a little bit better. I ain't got a solution, raht now, but gimme some tahm, and Ah'l t'ink of sometin'."
I had to call Bubba, who was also pretty much in a holding pattern, with only one game on his slate. "Bubba, tell me what for."
"I tell you what, I know two things for sure. One, I know that Okie State will pound Texas Tech like a circus tent stake, I'm thinking in the neighborhood of 45-24, just to show OU how it's done. The other thing I know, is that the one thing missing from anyone involved in the Penn State situation is courage. Where was the courage to step up and confront a man observed attacking a little boy? Where were the guts it takes to rise up and defend the defenseless? In my humble, unconsidered opinion, is that McQuarry cat is the biggest coward of them all. I can understand if JoePa and the AD and Spanier and anybody else that heard the story second or third hand didn't comprehend the gravity of the situation. I can see why they didn't understand the horror. What I don't understand is how someone could witness it, have the physical tools necessary to stop it, and then do nothing. How hard would it be to confront a naked, old man in the shower? The way we run things down here, there would have been a moment where I stepped in, told the kid to get a towel, hand him my cell phone, tell him to call 9-1-1 and request a cop and an ambulence, because in the next 5 minutes, there's going to be a lot of 'falling down' in the shower. But that's just me."
I called up Marcus, out on the Left Coast, somewhere. "You actually have some games of interest this week."
"Dude, I have THE game this week. I've got the game where Stanford finally gets through on the Oregon Trail. The game is down on the Farm, Oregon is a little banged up, and Luck is ready to step up in front of a big-time audience. It will still be a shootout, but the Hoover School of Public Policy has put together a think-tank that they think have determined a way to avoid a second half melt-down like last year. This one will be a shoot-out, Smart Kids 48, Quackers 45, dude."
"That's great, what about your other big game?"
"Oh, dude, this is the only chance anyone has at stopping Boise State. If TCU can't do it, then there will be a lot of whining about how Boise State deserves their shot at the National Championship, even if Stanford wins out or Okie State wins out. Those Bunco cats think they are on the same level as the big boys, but they won't find out how tough it really is for a couple of years. They get to keep whining, this year. The Buncos will beat the Horny Toads 31-28, dude."
I was finally able to get some attention on the B1G. Lloyd had his picks ready to go.
"The Wildcats over Rice, 42-21," Lloyd said. "The Stinking Badgers maul the Golden Rodents in Minnesota 48-10. Michigan State, who plays like crap on the road, goes to Iowa, who plays awesome at home. Hackneys 28-14."
"This whole Penn State thing really pisses me off," Lloyd expounded. "Actually, it's the reaction of the Students and the fans that gets me going. They are all whining about JoePa getting a raw deal, and getting fired even though he didn't do anything illegal. Illegal? No. Immoral? Not completely. Irresponsible? Oh, hell yeah! Pick up the damn phone, Joe. The biggest mistake he made was by passing the buck. Don't tell me he didn't know what was going on. This guy was the most powerful man in Pennsylvania, governor included. To think that he was 'out of the loop' and had no idea of what was transpiring, simply flies in the face of reason. It almost sounds like he wouldn't have called if Sandusky was raping a kid on Joes desk while he sat there lecturing a player on the importance of attending class. Sorry, I'm better, now."
My last call came from Grandma Gunn, who probably has a bit of a soft spot for the old guy. "Let me know who you think is going to win, Granny," I said.
"Michigan is spiralling out of control, and I think Illinois will win it at home in a close one, 27-24. THE Ohio State lances a few Boilmakers even though it's in Indiana, maybe 31-17. I can't stand by my old boyfriend. He's not as big of a monster as that Sandusky, but he's kind of like Renfield in Dracula, the human servant that allows the monster to feed. I just hope that when Sandusky is imprisoned, the guard yells 'short eyes!' as he makes his way through cell-block A. Either that, or I'd like to see the moms of the victims be given fifteen minutes alone with him and a supply of nail enhanced baseball bats. How's that, deary?"
"Not bad, Granny. Any other bold predictions?"
"JoePa will top himself within three months. His entire life, his entire being, and his entire reason for existing have all vanished in a puff of smoke. Compound that with the fact that he will never really be known as the winningest coach in football history, but known as the coach who did nothing to stop the sexual predation of little boys when he had every opportunity to do so will make a self-inflicted exit almost certain."
"Ok, Grandma, hope your day is a pleasant one."
Husk-husk and on the qb
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