Let's ruin Iowa's Season

            The weather finally turned on us. It had been giving us warning signs for the past week, but yesterday, she finally turned away and said, 'don't touch me'. So I did what I normally do when I hear that, I went to the office and pretended to work. I pushed papers around, mis-filed files and generally gave myself a headache. I did spend some time looking out the window and watching as the cold, bitter drops of rain began to harden and collectivize on metal surfaces like a liquid auto-workers union. I knew deep down that it would turn to snow, just enough snow to make getting around a chancy proposition, like picking up a stripper with tattoos on her neck.

            The big game is finally here. Not, BIG GAME, like it was back in the day, when Oklahoma would roll into town, tease us for a couple hours before stabbing Huskerfan in the heart and whispering, 'shhhh' as our football blood seeped around the blade known as 'Sooner Magic'. True believers know the perps, Elvis Peacock, J.C. Watts, Buster Rhymes (not the rapper), Jamielle Holieway, Keith Jackson (not the announcer) have all played a part in season-ending tragedy for Nebraska.

            Not even Big Game, like when Colorado was foisted upon us by the Big 12. Yeah, they became rivals, sort of, but that was due to the bloviating of Woody Paige at the Denver Post, more than actual football. He's responsible for the 'N is for knowledge' joke. Colorado was a rival on par with Oklahoma for about 10 years. From 1986-1995, Nebraska went 6-3-1 against the Buffaloes. They had a pious, devout, evangelical Christian, who let his players run amok on campus and pimped out his daughter as a recruiting tool; at least according to various, hear-say accounts you can hear when the clock turns past midnight and the booze flows. We had a pious, devout, Christian, who let his players run amok, too, but he got results, damn it.

            The not rivals played apart as one of the fixed points in football time for Nebraska. In 2001, Nebraska was sitting at 11-0, ranked 2nd in the polls, rolled into Boulder for some light, mop-up duty before getting a re-match with Texas and a shot at Miami for the National Championship. Didn't happen that way. Chris Brown and Bobby Purify  and the Jumbo Formation happened. 62-36 happened. Yeah, Nebraska ended up backing into the National Championship and getting trounced by Miami, but that Colorado game is pointed to, by a lot of people, as being the game where Nebraska lost its Mojo, and it hasn't found it after 14 years.

            Now, the B1G has decided that Iowa is our rival. Ok, sure, I guess. Hawkeye fan likes to bring up the 1981 game, when they won 10-7 as one of their crowning achievements. Ok, big pat on the back for you. Since 1979, Nebraska and Iowa have played 10 times, Nebraska has gone 8-2. Even in the B1G era, Nebraska is 3-1. Iowafan is trolling around, wanting to claim that Memorial Stadium should be re-named 'Kinnick West' and that this is their biggest game, ever, and to be honest, it is.

            That is why I want to take it from them, so badly. Iowa is 11-0 for the first time in school history. Iowafan has already penciled in the victory on their season schedule poster and just knows  that they will beat Michigan State in the B1G championship and knock off Alabama and Clemson and win the National Championship and it will rain skittles and the smell of the pork factory farms will change to that of daisies in spring.

            Slow-down there, little buddy. Before you start making plans based on a pipe dream like a tweaker in the West Des Moines, let's get by Nebraska, first.

            Yep, that 5-6 Nebraska who doesn't belong on the same field as Iowa. Mighty Iowa, who has proven worthy of the ring by beating ranked opponents like Northwestern and, um, er, Northwestern. Yes, they beat Wisconsin, in Wisconsin, 10-6 when Joel Stave played like Joel Stave and fumbled inside the five. It's only against Nebraska that Stave looks like Russell Wilson.

            Yes, that pathetic 5-6 Nebraska, who has been in every game, and has been given the fickle finger of fate cavity search by an overzealous TSA agent. That weak, Nebraska team that is finally healthy, and finally running the ball well. That simpering, craven team that already has one of their five wins being over a better opponent than any of the 11 wins Iowa has.

            I want Nebraska to ruin Iowa's season so badly, I can taste it like leftover cafeteria gravy. I want to see the crowing Hawkeyes brought low and crawling back to the buses with thoughts of 'if only' dancing in their heads like jitterbugging rats. I want 90,000 maniacs, braving the cold and the wind, and the snow to show Iowa what true fan support is. I want the 18 seniors to go forth from Lincoln on a career-ending high note. I want Iowa fan to experience the pain and heartbreak of that 2001 Colorado game, and learn that the path to the National Championship is treacherous.

            One final note, I can't watch it, and won't watch it. I gotta find a movie or something to keep myself occupied.

            Final score, Drew Brown hits a 37-yard field goal, as time expires, 26-24, Nebraska.

            Go Big Red.  

Tommy was Tommy, Huskers beat Rutgers

            I got all the confirmation I need. Once, an accident, the Miami game, missing the comeback and coming back to watch the pick in overtime. Twice, a coincidence, the Minnesota game, not being able to watch the most complete game of the year. Three times, it's a conspiracy, the Michigan State game, the biggest win in at least five years.

            Hypothesis tested, Rutgers game, a good win against a team that Nebraska should beat. That equals confirmation, in my book. I am going to deliberately avoid watching the Iowa game, for fear of further ruing Nebraska's season.

            I'm sorry it took this long to figure out. I figure I'm worth about a touchdown a game, so, it stands to reason that Nebraska should be 10-1, if I had figured out that I was the source of the bad mojo.

            Sorry, Husker Nation.

            On to more positive things. Huskers get the win, a desperately needed win in order to remain bowl eligible. I don't want to put too much stock into the correlation between the success of the football team, and the overall vibe of the town...bull, this town lives and dies in the success or failure of the football team. Things have been a lot mellower, lately. the fans aren't completely embracing Riley, yet, but they seem to be less apt to spit when you mention his name and ward off the evil eye. It's kind of like the scene in Blazing Saddles, when the old lady brings Bart a pie, but reminds him to have the decency not to mention that she had been there.

            Tommy had a Tommy game. Three touchdowns and three picks. All fourteen of Rutgers' points came from Tommy picks. I have to hand it to Rutgers on their drive that made it 21-14. They got the pick, aggressively attacked with a long pass, then called a special to punch it in.

            Outside of that, there wasn't a lot for the Scarlet Knights, which sounds like a 50's do-wop group, or possibly a fabulously well-dressed crime-fighting team, to cheer about.

            The Blackshirts looked presentable. I know it was just Rutgers, but they have been doing an excellent job of making bad offenses look pretty good, this year. A couple of picks, six sacks, and blowing up a fake punt attempt, are all good bonus points on a performance that made the Rutgers quarterback look really bad.

            The controlled the ground game, only giving up one explosive play and keeping rushing yards to under a hundred. 41 yards lost on sacks help that number, too. Overall, Rutgers had a tough time getting ahead of the chains, which made life more difficult to get a passing game going.

            The secondary did a decent job, only giving up a couple of big plays, maintaining good coverage, which helped to pressure the quarterback, and containing, for the most part, Leonte Caroo. Caroo is a good receiver, he was playing hurt, but he made life miserable for Michigan State, earlier, this year. I don't know who was doing the play-by-play, (which I watched, on Sunday, on BTN To Go, thank you) but he seemed to really enjoy saying 'Leonte Caroo'. Not just when he made the catch, or was the intended receiver, that I understand, but it was almost like every time he caught sight of the kid. It wasn't that he would just say Caroo, either. Every time he mentioned him, it was the full, 'Leonte Caroo'. I can understand it, to some degree. I always enjoyed saying Manu Tuiasosopo, but, when he got a sack, you just say, 'Manuuuuuuuu'. Karl-Heinz Rummenigge is another one of the fun names to say, but he's German, and played soccer, so it doesn't really count.

            Back to the 'Skers.

            Tommy started hot, hitting all of his first eight passes. Then he got sloppy, and impatient. Given the situation, and the success the offense had been having, I get why they wanted to put one more in before the half. To go up 28-0 at halftime would have had the proverbial foot on the throat. Two picks in the final 5 minutes is not how you want to do it, Tommy. Yet again, slow it down, just a tad. Oh, and let's quit calling that middle screen, shall we?

            How about Cethan Carter? I've been waiting for him to emerge. Made four catches, including a TD and ran a tight end reverse for a touchdown. I haven't seen a play like that since Keith Jackson, (the freakishly fast tight end from OU, not the pasty, portly announcer) did that to us in the 1985 game.

            Imani Cross looked pretty good. Solid, between the tackles running, with one big play to boost his numbers. He doesn't have breakaway speed, but he's pretty good in traffic, and is probably the best back for a run it right at 'em approach.

            The receivers did their bit. Westy and Zo did what we have grown accustomed to, and Carter made huge contributions, Brandon Reilly got a little dinged up, so we saw more of Lane Hovey, but I have to admit, 14 catches on 21 attempts means that the running game is working and the services of the receivers isn't quite as critical. To really break it down, of the 14 catches, four were by the tight end, and two by the running back. Eight catches for the receivers, but not horrible, considering the grind out the clock nature of the offense when you're up 17 in the fourth quarter.

            I kind of like it when Tommy has under 25 attempts. It means that things have gone well.

            We have a week off, now, to get healthy, get a little extra practice in, and watch lots of game film of Iowa. I want Iowa to beat Purdue, but I want Purdue to at least take them into the fourth quarter. I want Iowa to roll into town undefeated, with 'Hawkeyes' penciled in to one of the playoff slots. I want to be the ones that completely ruin their season.

Post Michigan State

            Because of a previously scheduled engagement, where I ended up helping a colleague, Joe Hardman, solve a 70-year-old cold case, I was not able to watch the Michigan State Game, live. That led me to a conclusion, based on a theory that has been bouncing around my noggin for a while now.

            It's me. I wasn't able to watch the biggest win for Nebraska since 2001. I wasn't able to watch the Minnesota game, the best performance, this year, prior to MSU. I wasn't watching the 4th quarter of the Miami game, but came back to watch the overtime period.

            To paraphrase a well-known, pipe-smoking, violin-playing, coke-addicted, fellow investigator; when you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. Therefore, I will not watch another game, live, until Nebraska loses again, exonerating my mojo as the culprit.

            Biggest win? Yes, indeed. Nebraska hasn't beaten an opponent ranked 7th or higher since, 2010, when Roy Helu ran through Missouri like von Manstein on a French holiday excursion. Nebraska hadn't beaten an opponent ranked 6th or higher (in another poll), since 2001, when Eric Crouch caught the throwback pass to beat Oklahoma. A play, coincidentally, that Oklahoma tried to run, but the field turf tackled the quarterback before he could catch the ball. First win over a Top 7 team when unranked, since 1977, when Alabama came to town and Nebraska ruined their season and somebody stole Bear Bryant's hound's tooth hat.

            Yep, it was big.

            For one week, football was fun, again. Huskerfan doesn't, or hasn't gotten to experience this feeling, too often. That feeling of victory against all odds. Winning, when no one, not even your mom, gives you a chance of pulling out the victory. The ebb and flow of the game proved it. Nebraska got up to a 10-0 lead, Huskerfan thought it was a maybe. At the half, MSU was up 17-13, close, but Nebraska has not been comfortable in close games, this year. Punch in an early, second-half score, and it was 20-17, Nebraska. The Spartans responded, and how. 20-24, became 20-31 at the end of the third quarter. Michigan State was in control. Fans got up, as Brandon Reilly said, 'Maybe they had something more important to do'. Fear and doubt took hold, along with the sense of resignation and bitter acceptance of it being over.

            Nebraska came back. The scrappy bastards made it 26-31, and tried, but failed for two. Down by five and needing a stop, the defense rose up, right? Wrong. Sparta marched down the field, taking almost nine minutes off the clock and leading 26-38, with just over five minutes to go. You expect the Huskers to quit, at this point, right? Wrong again. Ten play drive, Tommy scores on a qb sweep that looked like it surprised MSU. I have a sneaky feeling that was the play Tommy was supposed to run against Illinois, but that's just a hunch. 33-38, a skosh over two minutes left. Onside kick didn't work, they rarely do. Two timeouts, one Michigan State first down, and the game is over. First down run; timeout. Second down run; timeout. Third and 8, run, holding penalty on MSU, they are forced to punt.

            Nebraska gets the ball back, 91 yards away, no time-outs, 0:55 on the clock. They're dead, right? First and 10, own 9, 23 yard pass to Jordan Westerkamp. First and 10, own 32, 38 yard pass to Westy. First and ten, MSU 30, Tommy fires into the end zone, where a defender has both hands on the ball, but let's it pop free upon hitting the ground. Nebraska goes, 'whew'. Second and ten, MSU 30, 0:17 on the clock. Tommy launches a pass down the sideline to Reilly, who makes the grab, and hits pay dirt for a touchdown. 39-38, Nebraska, it's not over yet. Squib kick, doesn't quite work. Sparty gets closer, a field goal wins it. 0:07 on the clock, Connor Cook drops back to pass, can't find anyone, pressure gets to him, he bobbles the ball, launches it to get one last play off before the clock expires.

            Too late. When the ball came down, there is no time left. Game over.

Reilly's Game Winner

             

There has been a lot of ranting, mainly from northeast of here, about Reilly's touchdown catch. The Big Ten officiating Big Bosses stated that the crew called it correctly, reviewed it correctly and ultimately enforced the rule correctly. The key element of the play is when contact between Reilly and the defender was made. Any contact, is considered sufficient enough to 'force' a receiver out of bounds. He doesn't have to be shoved with both hands, or driven like a getaway car, or bodily hugged like the defender was hallucinating Lana Turner running down the sideline. All-in-all, 'Nuts' to Sparty fans.

            Not going to say the game was well officiated, there were several head-scratchers. I don't think I've ever seen 'off-setting' interference penalties. How was Zo not interfered with, in the 4th quarter, when the defender held his arm down? Sparty got away with having 12 men on the field, twice. Both o-lines were holding, but, in theory, you could call holding on just about every offensive play if you wanted to. Shilique Calhoun, MSU's outstanding defensive end, is still whining about getting held, even posting pictures. I don't know what his exact snap-count was, but Nebraska ran 69 plays, and Calhoun's stat sheet was goose-eggs, all across. 0 tackles, 0 sacks, 0-0-0. I haven't seen that many Zeroes since watching 'Baa Baa Blacksheep', and those weren't even real Zeroes.

            In addition to Calhoun playing Houdini, and disappearing, let's not blame the refs for one's inability to cover porn-stache king, Jordan Westerkamp. Nine catches for 143 yards. 61 of those yards on the final drive. I'm not getting big-time defensive coordinator bucks, but I would have double-teamed JW on that final drive. If Stanley Morgan, or Brandon Reilly or Lane Hovey beat me, fine, I'll live with that. I'm not going to let the known go-to guy, and the quarterback's roomie, get open by playing soft zone, where do you think you are, the NFL? I guess I can't put too much on the coach, the MSU secondary was a train wreck, by the end of the game, and made Nebraska's secondary look like the Legion of Boom.

             At the end of the game, the Huskers celebrated. The players who put in the blood and sweat danced with joyous abandon. The coaches, who have taken a lot of heat, who came up with the game-plan, and called just enough right plays, felt 30 years melt off in an instant, and danced with their kids, who they want to see successful. The fans (those that stayed, anyway), who didn't give up hope, who didn't care what the odds were, young and old, danced and jumped and cried and felt as if they were part of the team, as well.

     'Let Me Clear My Throat', by DJKool, might just become a thing. Maybe 'Sirius' is due for retirement. We acknowledge that Huskerfan gets wrapped up in the Game, too much so, sometimes. Part of the reason I pull for a Husker win, is that it puts everybody in a much more pleasant vibe. I don't have little old ladies in Husker gear telling me to 'get the fuck out of the way', at Target. True story. Even on gloomy, rainy, November days, when the bone-chilling winds sweep into Nebraska from Mountain State, there is a spring in the steps and a cheerful hale from Huskerfan after a big win. Let's keep it up, lads.

            This game may have been the turning point, I know, I know, I said that after Minnesota, but Sparty was a different beast. Sparty has been one of the better teams in the Big 10 for years, now. They have been to two of the four B1G Championship games, and won one, with Connor Cook. This game has all the appearances of being that moment, that game, that vibe, where it all fell into place. Where the players 'got it' and started playing instinctively, instead of thinking about every little thing. This game was a huge trust-builder, too. Trust between players, between squads and between players and coaches. Most importantly, this game was a huge trust builder between the Staff and the Fans, yes, I capitalized both. On the one side, the Staff was able to fill their credence bank with some desperately needed cache, yes, cache. On the Fans side, they now get to tell the staff that they should beat anyone, anyone, ranked 7th, or lower now, no excuses. Time to set sights on bigger game.

            Michigan State has good traditions, and probably the best nickname, in terms of football, in the Big Ten. A couple of years ago, they wore alternate uniforms with a Spartan credo, Molon labe, come and take, on the helmet inset above the facemask. It's origins go back to the Battle of Thermopylae, in defiance of the Persians, and has a distinct level of badassery.

            I love the attitude, but on Saturday, Nebraska said, 'peerame', we took.

West Lafayette, we are here.

            This new thing with Mrs. DuMont has got to come to an end. I've been trying to make some actual money, clear some cases or get something to eat when she calls, or shows up, or sends the Boys over to pick me up. I should ask her why I don't get a ride in the Beemer.

            The boys darkened my door, again. I was persuaded to follow them down to the big car and got a ride to the compound. Buttons got pushed, gates opened and I was led to a small room with a floor-to-ceiling dry-erase board on one side, a desk with a monitor in the corner and a series of video monitors mounted on the wall opposite the dry-erase board. The room was bright, well-lit, and had a sense of ultimate climate control. It felt like the perfect 65 degrees and the air seemed like they had put a humidifier and a de-humidifier in the room and let them fight it out.

            I was ushered into the room, the Boys waited outside. I was told not to touch anything. It's like they know me, or something. Mrs. Dumont showed up looking like she was on her way to the country club, or bridge, or megalomaniacs anonymous. "So, what do you think?" she asked, proud as clucking hen.

            "I haven't seen this kind of set up since 'The Thousand Eyes of Dr. Mabuse,'" I said. "Who does your interior decorating, Fritz Lang?"

            "It's funny that you should mention him. I met him when I was in college. His best work was behind him, and that monocle of his was just for show. He did like to chase after us young girls--not that he ever had a chance, with me."

            I suddenly imagined grainy, 8mm footage from a pool party in the Hills, circa 1950's. Unfortunately, my mind conjured up present-day Mrs. DuMont, in a bikini, playing splashy-splashy. I shook my head. I'd rather try to tackle Mike Rozier in his prime, one-on-one, without pads.

            "What's the set up?" I asked. "Video conferencing? Getting the gang in-line, like SPECTRE? What?"

            "You will see, in just a moment." She smiled at me, patiently. She reminded me of a cat stalking a bird. A man walked into the room. He looked to be mid-forties, beard, long-ish, not well-maintained hair. He was wearing grey slacks, a grey, button-down shirt, a blazer with elbow patches, glasses, and a bow-tie. It was like they had called central casting and asked for a 'nerdy professor' to appear in a bit part. he barely noted me as he went over to the desk, pulled out a tablet device and started tapping.

            One by one, the monitors flickered to life. Out of 24 screens, 8 activated. I didn't know who all of them were, but the two I recognized are on the football team, and are on the two-deep.

            "Good afternoon, gentlemen," the professor greeted the screens. "Who would like to go first?"

            "I would," said one the players I recognized. "I've got Doc Maz for U.S. Military History. I need to turn in a paper on whether or not we should have nuked Japan."

            'The Professor' started tapping and swiping on the tablet. "Ah, yes. Ok. Yes. Ok. Excellent. Yes, for Maz, stress the importance of the casualty figures, downplay the 'scare the Russians' aspect, cite the Rhoades work as a major source, and debunk the revisionist line of argument. Got that?"

            "Yeah," the player said and his screen blinked off.

            Mrs. DuMont motioned me out of the room. In the hallway, out of earshot, she gave me the low-down. "This is what educational support is really all about. The 'tutors' the university provides are really nothing more than 'hook-up' opportunities. This way, student-athletes, not just football players, can gain insight to their professors, based on past results. We don't give them the answers, but we point them in the right direction."

            "It sounds quite noble, if a bit shady at the same time," I said. "How do they know to come to you? What if the University finds out? what if the NCAA finds out?"

            "You have been paying attention, haven't you?" she admonished me. "We have connections, everywhere. We know if an athlete is struggling with schoolwork before the University does. We initiate contact and give the player an opportunity to do better. That keeps more of them eligible, which makes the University happy and the NCAA is so back-logged and tail-chasing, that they won't investigate a school where the players are passing classes at a great higher than the overall student body."

            I heard a familiar voice ask a question about Dr. Renee's 20th Century Feminist Literature class. Poor guy. "So, the professor is...?" I asked.

            "Someone we are giving a second chance to." Mrs. Dumont said. "Just because one has to leave a job because the words 'sexual', and 'misconduct' come uncomfortably close together, doesn't mean they aren't very good as an educator."

            I nodded in apparent agreement. I listened to a few more questions and my mind started to wander. I knew she was going to ask me about the game, she always did. I don't know why, after this week, she would even bother. It was a negative-13 point swing from my prediction to the reality. I haven't been that far off, in a while.

            "I know this is a lot to digest," she said in a voice that I suspected she thought was kindly. "let's get you back on to more familiar ground, and we can talk about just how intertwined we are with the Athletic Department. Tell me your thoughts on Purdue."

  

              "When it comes to Purdue," I said,  "I just have to shrug and say, 'I think we should win this one.' Should is the operative word. I don't think in terms of 'will' in this one, or any of the remaining games."

            "Nebraska should beat Purdue," I continued. " Purdue is terrible. Purdue got trucked by Minnesota. Purdue got suffocated by Wisconsin. Purdue's only win was against Indiana State. Purdue also played Sparta to within three points, after a -3 turnover ratio, so if you let them hang around, they can scare you."

            "How do you think Nebraska will respond to last week's loss?" she asked. "I think they will be fine. I'm starting to think they play better on the road, than at home. they seem more relaxed, the Illinois game, notwithstanding. Purdue plays for a fan base that hasn't given a rat's ass since Drew Brees was there. The energy level will be low, the interest level will be low. Tommy is out. Huge opportunity for Ryker Fyfe. He isn't as athletic as Tommy, but he seems to know the system as well as anybody. Maybe they'll lean on the running backs, more. Maybe this is good, in that Purdue has been scouting Tommy, the whole time, and have nothing on Fyfe."

            "When you boil it down, what do you get?" Mrs. Dumont asked.

            I thought about it for a good, long while before answering. "I'm going off the rez, on this one. Ryker has an outstanding game. Comfortable win, starting a quarterback controversy, just in time for Michigan State. Final score, Nebraska 31-Purdue 14."