This time of year is always kind of a drag.
For the first time in three years, the Huskers aren't preparing to challenge a behemoth from south of Kansas for a conference title and 'shake up' the BCS. They are chilling, waiting for the bowl possibilities to be revealed and resting up, healing, or maybe playing some X-Box.
The conference championships range from the sublime to the ridiculous. The best to watch should be the B1G Championship, and that is said without bias. Sure, neither team is in the Top 10, and it is a re-match, which everyone hates, right? It is easily the closest match-up of any championship game and Whisky wants to avenge their heartbreaker loss to Sparty. If Whisky wins, they get to make amends for their egg-laying in the Rose Bowl, last year. If Sparty wins, they get to go to the Rose Bowl for the first time since 1988. Wow.
The most important championship game is the SEC's. LSU has to win in order to go to the NCG, but could still get in with a close loss. Georgia has a puncher's chance, but if LSU plays at the level they have all year, then it should be pretty cut-and-dry. This could very well be the best LSU team, ever. Even when they won the NC in 2007 (Bo was DC), they lost two games. If they beat Georgia, and then Alabama (again) they will be 14-0, coming out of the toughest conference in the country. I have been hearing that they might even be better, next year.
The Big 12 has a de facto championship game with the 'Bedlam' game between Okie and Okie light. Their should be over 100 points scored between these two. Both have high-octane offenses, OU's is like 87-test and OSU's is 98, but since neither team defends the pass, the game will be a basketball score.
Out on the left coast, the Pac-12 'championship' needs to remain in quotes. From the North, you have Oregon, who lost one conference game, to USC. From the South, you have UCLA, who is there with a 5-4 record, and a 50-0 loss to the aforementioned USC (who is ineligible for post-season play). Add to that that their coach, Skippy Neuheisel, will coach the game despite having been fired. If Oregon doesn't win this by half-a-hunnert, it's only because Coach Kelly doesn't want his starters getting hurt.
Over in the ACC, Virginia Tech is set for revenge against Clemson, their only loss on the year. VTU is playing lights-out, right now and Clemson has lost three of their last four. If VTU wins, they are the only team that I can make a strong case for facing LSU, rather than Alabama in the NCG. If VTU wins, they will have avenged their only loss of the season, and played an extra game. 'Bama's only loss was to LSU, at home, and the old arguments that hounded Nebraska in 2001 should re-surface. They couldn't win their division, how can they play for the National Championship?
I submit that the case for Alabama is still strong. Over the course of the year, Alabama and LSU have been the best two teams. Both defeated every opponent by 30 points a game, except when they played each other, and that went into overtime. Alabama has the best defense in the country, LSU, the second. If you simply want the best game for the NC, can you honestly say that a Virginia Tech-LSU game in New Orleans would be better than an SEC revenge game?
As for Nebraska, it could be the Capitol One ($4.6m), Outback ($3.5m), or Gator ($2.7m) bowl. All in Florida, and all against an SEC team. The projections have Arkansas, Auburn and South Carolina as potential opponents. Ideally, Nebraska gets the Capitol one against South Carolina, but I think it will be Outback against Arkansas.
Husk-husk and on the qb.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Post Iowa and a few picks
Watching the Nebraska-Iowa game, yesterday, was like watching two exhausted boxers in the 12th round of a fight. No belts on the line, a decent undercard, but not a main event. Yesterday was no Ali-Frazier, it was more like Jerry Quarry v. Jimmy Ellis.
It also had an old-school feel to it that I dig. I-Backasaurus Rex led an attack that was like five-yards-and-a-cloud-of-rubber, but I like that. I actually do enjoy watching the offense grind away at a team, at any moment a play could pop for a huge gain, but the steady erosive nature of the attack did wonders for a defense that was probably still trying to recover from last week.
Speaking of the I-Backasaurus, he gets my nod for offensive MVP. The team MVP is obviously Lavonte David, but Rex has been the go-to guy all year long. Excellent story to emerge from the game; Rex had tied the school record for carries in a game with 37 (again), the o-line convinced him to come out and take the last snap in 'victory' formation so he would get one more official carry, and the record. I have heard that it was Yoshi that convinced him to do it, saying that the o-line wanted him to get it, and that they wanted to be a part of it. Pretty cool, huh?
It also had an old-school feel to it that I dig. I-Backasaurus Rex led an attack that was like five-yards-and-a-cloud-of-rubber, but I like that. I actually do enjoy watching the offense grind away at a team, at any moment a play could pop for a huge gain, but the steady erosive nature of the attack did wonders for a defense that was probably still trying to recover from last week.
Speaking of the I-Backasaurus, he gets my nod for offensive MVP. The team MVP is obviously Lavonte David, but Rex has been the go-to guy all year long. Excellent story to emerge from the game; Rex had tied the school record for carries in a game with 37 (again), the o-line convinced him to come out and take the last snap in 'victory' formation so he would get one more official carry, and the record. I have heard that it was Yoshi that convinced him to do it, saying that the o-line wanted him to get it, and that they wanted to be a part of it. Pretty cool, huh?
(It's unclear what T. Rex's exact speed was, but it could run down all other animals in its ecosystem)
Taylor had a pretty decent game, and passed Tommie Frazier on the passing yards list. He tweaked an ankle, early in the game, which limited the playbook for him. He did get lucky on one pass that should have been picked, and had a couple of attempts that went off of defenders faces at the line. All in all, a decent game. Kenny Bell looked like he has shaken off his issues of the past couple of games, and really stepped up. Jamal Turner got into the game, which shows some improvement for him. Kyler Reed finally got a touchdown reception.
Let's hear it for the o-line. A battered, beat-up bunch of dudes who gave a gutsy performance when they really needed to. Speaking of o-line, Mike Caputo must have jilted the umpires daughter or something, two clipping/crack-back block penalties against a guy who has had zero all year, neither of which should have drawn a flag. Caputo, Yoshi, Jones, Choi, Long gave Rex the room he needed to do what he does. Let's also hear it for Sirles, who came in when Jones went down and filled in, nicely. I think there is a pipeline getting built in Nebraska, and it doesn't end in XL.
The Blackshirts did what was expected of them. They shut down the run, and Alfonzo took their best receiver out of the game, again. Lavonte David was here, there, and everywhere; hitting dudes, covering the tight end, getting a sack and stripping a fumble. I still want to see that holding penalty in the end-zone, again. The series that Iowa scored on was one of the weirdest I've seen. I don't think the Iowa receiver caught the ball in-bounds at the three, and no-one sought to review it. I hate to play the fake injury thing, (that's not true, I loved it when Joe Nash, and his bum knee, did it to Cincinnati back in '88) but we should have a flopper to buy more time to get plays reviewed. It took Iowa four plays and three penalties to get into the endzone after a first and goal from the three, to take away the shutout.
(Carl just wanted me to tell you thanks for keeping him employed)
Just wanted to drop a few quick notes and picks for yesterday and today.
Leroix picked LSU, trust me. He also has Alabama in the Iron Bowl, and Virginia Tech over Virginia. Bubba is Enjoying the week off. Marcus says Stanford should beat Notre Dame.
Lloyd says Ohio State will beat Michigan, making Huskerfan say 'Whaaaaa'? Northwestern will play Sparty tough, but not tough enough. Illinois will lose to Minnesota, costing Ron Zook his job.
Granny is taking whisky, and is picking the Stinking Badgers to beat Penn State. Indiana and Purdue are playing for the 'Old Oaken Bucket', proof that some of these B1G trophies are just stupid. Purdue will win.
Time to kick back, relax, and get healed up for the bowl game. It appears to be either the Insight.com Bowl or the Outback Bowl. Insight.com pays $6.7m and the Outback $7m, so we're in for some decent cash. I've seen one projection that puts us in the Outback with South Carolina. It would be nice to take on pickle-puss Steve Superior, again.
Husk-husk and on the qb.
Friday, November 25, 2011
Nebraska, Iowa and Corn
The atmosphere at "Our Lady" was somber for a gameday. Distraction seemed to be the pervading theme. Fans distracted by the madness that consumed the "Black Friday" shoppers that besieged low-end retailers like a horde of ravenous zombies. The girls, distracted by the early start time and the patrons that wandered in like refugees, seeking shelter from the madness or just coming down from the L. tryptophan overdose.
The four of us were distracted by the heavy events of the day before. To be fair, Lloyd didn't seem any more distracted than usual. Lloyd, Cassandra, Preacherman and I had gathered for the season finale. This year it is the rivalry game that almost seems forced. Like laughing at a boss's joke, even though you've not only heard it three times already, but watched the show he got it from.
This whole Iowa thing as our chief rival just doesn't seem to work for me. I get all the reasons why we get told that it works; geography, corn, lifestyle, corn, Omaha v. Des Moines, corn...did I say corn? I still would like to suggest that instead of a lame trophy, that the loser of this annual battle be forced to administer Council Bluffs. 'Heroes' game just sounds so contrived. Anything else would be contrived, too, but Corn Trophy or Corn Cup or Giant Golden Cob are worse so I guess we're stuck. I wouldn't mind the Kinnick Trophy, Iowa's only Heisman winner who was from Omaha would be fine with me.
"Lloyd. How is the offense going to do against these Hawkeyes?" I asked.
"They should be OK, I think," he replied. "The huskers should be able to move the ball pretty well on the ground. Iowa's defense isn't anything to write home about. They also won't have the luxury of keying on one guy, now that Taylor has developed into an efficient, if not scary weapon. Burkhead should get back into his groove. The O-line needs to establish its nastiness early and help propel the offense to an early lead."
I nodded, not really surprised, and not really hearing anything I didn't expect. "Preacherman. How about the defense?" I had to kind of shout since Preach was a little distracted.
"They got to stop the run. Marcus Coker is averaging over 100 yards a game, and is a big, physical running back. They need to stop the run, but need to do it without loading up the box. Vandenburg is a good enough quarterback to hurt a defense if they try to bring a safety up in run support. They were embarrassed last week, and wrung out. Those guys were on the field all day long, I hope they bounce back after a short week and I hope the offense lets them spend a lot of time on the sideline."
I turned to Cassandra. "How do you think special teams will do?"
She rolled her eyes. "The Law of Averages would suggest that they have to do better than last week. That was literally the worst half of special teams play I have ever seen. This week has to be better. It's probably good that Iowa isn't known for their special teams threats, either on returns or blocking kicks."
"Intangibles?" I asked the assembly.
"Senior Day," said Lloyd. There are 21 seniors who are playing their last home game for the Huskers. Guys like Austin Cassidy, Mike Caputo and LaVonte David. They will step up and be the vocal leaders the Huskers will need today for that last, final push to a decent bowl."
"Bounce-back," added Preach. "After the other two losses this year, the defense has responded with a really good game. I think today will be no different.
"Home cookin'," Cassandra added. "I don't mean the officiating, 'cause we never get the right calls at home, either. I mean getting to sleep in your own bed, do your own thing with your own comfort level. Both of Nebraska's big losses came on the second weeks of consecutive road games. Iowa is in that situation this week, and had to deal with a short week. Nebraska did too, but has been doing it for years with the Colorado game. They have a schedule in place."
I sat back and watched one of the dancers listlessly maneuver through a set with 'If you want Blood' by AC/DC. I pondered what I though the final score would be. Lloyd was furiously tapping at his screen as I pronounced "24-14, Huskers."
Lloyd looked up from his toys. "I just got a text from a buddy in LPD. it read 'John Doe shot yesterday. Coma."
Comatose. That means even if they bring charges against Lt. Moore, which will be hard to stick, Mr. Alan Davison is still alive, and if he wakes up, he will be able to offer his testimony. "Moore can't let that happen, but he won't be able to do anything about it. Or will he?"
The four of us watched the clock edge closer to game time. Kickoff should give us at least a temporary respite. I hope the Huskers win.
Husk-husk and on the qb.
The four of us were distracted by the heavy events of the day before. To be fair, Lloyd didn't seem any more distracted than usual. Lloyd, Cassandra, Preacherman and I had gathered for the season finale. This year it is the rivalry game that almost seems forced. Like laughing at a boss's joke, even though you've not only heard it three times already, but watched the show he got it from.
This whole Iowa thing as our chief rival just doesn't seem to work for me. I get all the reasons why we get told that it works; geography, corn, lifestyle, corn, Omaha v. Des Moines, corn...did I say corn? I still would like to suggest that instead of a lame trophy, that the loser of this annual battle be forced to administer Council Bluffs. 'Heroes' game just sounds so contrived. Anything else would be contrived, too, but Corn Trophy or Corn Cup or Giant Golden Cob are worse so I guess we're stuck. I wouldn't mind the Kinnick Trophy, Iowa's only Heisman winner who was from Omaha would be fine with me.
"Lloyd. How is the offense going to do against these Hawkeyes?" I asked.
"They should be OK, I think," he replied. "The huskers should be able to move the ball pretty well on the ground. Iowa's defense isn't anything to write home about. They also won't have the luxury of keying on one guy, now that Taylor has developed into an efficient, if not scary weapon. Burkhead should get back into his groove. The O-line needs to establish its nastiness early and help propel the offense to an early lead."
I nodded, not really surprised, and not really hearing anything I didn't expect. "Preacherman. How about the defense?" I had to kind of shout since Preach was a little distracted.
"They got to stop the run. Marcus Coker is averaging over 100 yards a game, and is a big, physical running back. They need to stop the run, but need to do it without loading up the box. Vandenburg is a good enough quarterback to hurt a defense if they try to bring a safety up in run support. They were embarrassed last week, and wrung out. Those guys were on the field all day long, I hope they bounce back after a short week and I hope the offense lets them spend a lot of time on the sideline."
I turned to Cassandra. "How do you think special teams will do?"
She rolled her eyes. "The Law of Averages would suggest that they have to do better than last week. That was literally the worst half of special teams play I have ever seen. This week has to be better. It's probably good that Iowa isn't known for their special teams threats, either on returns or blocking kicks."
"Intangibles?" I asked the assembly.
"Senior Day," said Lloyd. There are 21 seniors who are playing their last home game for the Huskers. Guys like Austin Cassidy, Mike Caputo and LaVonte David. They will step up and be the vocal leaders the Huskers will need today for that last, final push to a decent bowl."
"Bounce-back," added Preach. "After the other two losses this year, the defense has responded with a really good game. I think today will be no different.
"Home cookin'," Cassandra added. "I don't mean the officiating, 'cause we never get the right calls at home, either. I mean getting to sleep in your own bed, do your own thing with your own comfort level. Both of Nebraska's big losses came on the second weeks of consecutive road games. Iowa is in that situation this week, and had to deal with a short week. Nebraska did too, but has been doing it for years with the Colorado game. They have a schedule in place."
I sat back and watched one of the dancers listlessly maneuver through a set with 'If you want Blood' by AC/DC. I pondered what I though the final score would be. Lloyd was furiously tapping at his screen as I pronounced "24-14, Huskers."
Lloyd looked up from his toys. "I just got a text from a buddy in LPD. it read 'John Doe shot yesterday. Coma."
Comatose. That means even if they bring charges against Lt. Moore, which will be hard to stick, Mr. Alan Davison is still alive, and if he wakes up, he will be able to offer his testimony. "Moore can't let that happen, but he won't be able to do anything about it. Or will he?"
The four of us watched the clock edge closer to game time. Kickoff should give us at least a temporary respite. I hope the Huskers win.
Husk-husk and on the qb.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Sexy Sixy
Things have been rough, lately. Lloyd has gone into a funk that George Clinton and Parliament would be inspired by. I tried to ask him about the Michigan game. He gave me his Bo look and said "A season's worth of special teams mistake in one half. How do you think it went?"
Point taken.
Speaking of Bo, it seems like the media is starting to gather kindling for the hot seat. In both Lincoln and Omaha fish-wraps, the terms 'honeymoon is over' and 'bloom is off the Pelini rose' have been used. Sippy over at the LJS even went so far as to compare Pelini's win-loss and blowout losses (apparently, 27+ points is what qualifies as a blowout) to T.O.'s. Yeah, Sip, that seems fair. Compare the coaching job of T.O., who inherited a national championship-caliber team, to that of Bo, who inherited a program that was dangerously close to foundering.
Lloyd was hot and dug up some stats on his tablet that he said he was going to e-mail to Sipple. Four years previous to T.O.'s take-over (69-72), 42-4-2, .896; four conference championships, four bowl wins, two national championships, and a Heisman Trophy winner.
In the four years prior to Bo's arrival (04-07), 27-22, .551; no conference champs, one bowl win, no national championships, no Heisman winners.
Pop quiz, who had the easier job? The guy who had to feed the beast, or the guy who had to go out, re-assemble the beast and bring it back to life?
That being said, in the first four years of each coach's tenure, T.O. went 37-10-2; no conference champs, three bowl wins, no national champs, no Heisman winners. Bo, if he can manage a win against Iowa and in a bowl, will have gone 39-15, no conference champs, three bowl wins, no national champs, and no Heisman winners. So, you tell me, is Bo just as good, or just as bad as Osborne over the same period?
Cassandra dropped her rankings on me before making arrangements for a big-time deal involving Lt. Moore, Mr. Davison and oddly enough, the State Patrol. More about that, later.
She's got Okie State at number six. They are still theoretically alive for a shot at the Big One, but it would take LSU to beat Arkansas, Auburn to beat Alabama, Notre Dame to beat Stanford and a Virginia Tech loss in the ACC Champ in addition to beating OU to get there.
Stanford is number five, she hasn't taken Luck back, despite his begging (according to her), and just has a Notre Dame game to worry about. They could still get a BCS bid and not have to play in the Pac-12 champ game. They actually have a better chance at getting into the Big One than a lot of contenders. If they beat the Irish, and the SEC goes all sectarian, let's say LSU beats Arkansas, and then loses to Georgia in the SEC champ. Alabama beats Auburn, and Virginia Tech loses to either Virginia or Clemson. Stanford and Alabama could be in the Big One, even though neither team won their conference.
Virginia Tech is number four. They have to handle Virginia, then Clemson in the ACC champ. Let's say they do that, LSU handles Arkansas but then chokes in the SEC champ. You could have The Hokies and Alabama in the Big One.
The SEC West is 3-2-1. If I hear correctly, it is the first time a conference has been 1-2-3 since 1971, when the Big 8 did it with Nebraska-Oklahoma-Colorado. Arkansas is at three. If they upset LSU and Georgia, they could meet up with Alabama, again, in the re-match no one outside of Dixie would care about.
Alabama is number two, and in the perfect position. They win and they're in, and only need to beat Auburn. I say 'only' with the full knowledge that to minimize the 'Iron Bowl' in Alabama is tantamount to suggesting that Bear Bryant and J. Edgar Hoover slow-danced to 'Sentimental Journey'.
LSU is number one. No pressure, beat Arkansas, who has scored at least 29 points in every game (except for Alabama). What should make LSU fan nervous, though, in the last five years (including this one) LSU has lost 13 games. Three of them to Arkansas. Alabama, Mississippi and Florida have each topped them only twice. In the last five years, the widest margin of victory for either team was 8 points. Then they have to take on Georgia, in Atlanta, for the SEC champ. Georgia hasn't lost since week two and has just been finding ways to win. If they win those two games, LSU more than likely has a re-match with Alabama for the National Championship. If they win those three games, they deserve it.
To get back to Lt. Moore. I placed a call. Cassandra placed a call. I arranged to meet Mr. Davison to make a proposal. He was to meet me at the Capitol Inn, out on West O. We had a little back and forth, but in a nutshell (no pun intended), I was going to tell him how Lt. Moore had broken me, thanks to the heat that came down as a result of Mr. Davison stirring up the pot. I was pulling up stakes, quitting the biz and heading for a cabin on the Olympic Peninsula to hole up and await the zombie apocalypse.
I placed a call and told Lt. Moore that we had his doll-maker and that he was available for discussion at the hotel. I told him that once he had his man, we were done, I wanted nothing more to do with him, and however he wanted to handle his 'confidential informers' was up to him. He was in control and I would keep to my side of the turf.
Lloyd placed a call to a guy he knew at State Patrol. Their Office of Professional Standards had been hearing a lot of rumors about Lt. Moore, and had been preparing a file on him. The investigation had not been requested yet, so they were sitting on their hands for the time being. Lloyd told them to get ready. Some serious stuff was about to go down.
Lloyd and I set up across the street from the hotel. We watched as Lt. Moore, Mustache and Hands tromped up the stairs heading for Mr. Davison's room. He had the room at the end of the row on the second tier. That's usually known as coffin corner, since it is the furtherst from help, but the quietest, too.
As soon as they hit the second level, I nodded at Lloyd. He pulled out a cheap-ass disposable cell-phone. He punched send, and as soon as contact was established, he started in. "Hello? 9-1-1? I heard shots fired at the Capitol Hotel on West O...Ohmigawd, I see three guys with guns! Send help! Please oh please they're looking at me!"
Click. Toss. "Let's roll," he said, a lot less panicky than a few moments before.
Lt. Moore and his pals had smashed in the door, playing up the gorilla act. I'm still not sure exactly what went down, but as we were pulling away, we could hear the sirens of the approaching police cars.
That's when I heard four distinct shots. A short pause, and then one more shot.
When I last saw Lt. Moore in the re-view mirror, he and his pals were standing at the rail, badges out and weapons holstered. The LPD guys had their Beretta's out and were taking tactical approaches to secure the three supposed suspects.
"Damn, man. I didn't expect actual gun-play," I said. "I just thought there wouldn't be enough to explain what an IAD guy was doing there and start the ball rolling on a State Patrol investigation into the LPD's Internal Affairs arm. Lloyd, what did we just do?"
Lloyd looked at me, completely inscrutable. "We took care of some bad guys. That's what we do. Didn't you know that Moore carried a throw-down piece?"
"No. What do you mean?"
"He had a snub-nosed .38 in an ankle rig. That way he can leave it -- throw down-- at the scene if he needs to 'justify' a shooting. If things went they way I think they did, Mr. Davison has four itty-bitty holes in his chest, and four big chunks out of his back. And there is a .38-caliber bullet in the hotel wall."
"Lloyd. Serious question now. Did you set me up, too?"
"Plausible denability. No direct links. We didn't pull the trigger. We didn't tell anyone to kill anyone else. We also helped to clean up the dirtiest cop that has ever roamed the streets of this town."
"That's fine, I have no problem with taking out Moore. We didn't get him killed. I have no problem with wrecking his career and life, he deserved it. Can you tell me that Davison deserved to die?"
"No. I can't tell you that. But think about all the crap he's pulled and all the misery he's dropped on other people that wanted nothing to do with him. I'm not just talking about us. Look at the smuggling flights. Look at his super creepy treatment of that working girl, just to mess with you. Look at how he somehow just slid out of situations that seemed way to hinky for their own good. Maybe he didn't deserve to die for what he did to us. But I guarantee that he had a huge Karma bill to pay. It caught up with him today. That, and you don't know that he's dead."
Lloyd can be scary when he gets like this. Too serene, too calculating. It's almost like he just doesn't care. All I know is that I still want him on my side.
"You still up for the game, tomorrow?" he asked. Back to his usual, easy-going, Lloyd self.
"I don't know, man. This will take some time to sort through in my head."
"Suit yourself. Cassandra, Preacher and I are setting up at Our Lady. You should come. I'll buy you an Oppenheimer."
"That sounds good, Lloyd." I said. "A few of those might just take the first layer off my conscience."
Husk-husk and on the qb.
Point taken.
Speaking of Bo, it seems like the media is starting to gather kindling for the hot seat. In both Lincoln and Omaha fish-wraps, the terms 'honeymoon is over' and 'bloom is off the Pelini rose' have been used. Sippy over at the LJS even went so far as to compare Pelini's win-loss and blowout losses (apparently, 27+ points is what qualifies as a blowout) to T.O.'s. Yeah, Sip, that seems fair. Compare the coaching job of T.O., who inherited a national championship-caliber team, to that of Bo, who inherited a program that was dangerously close to foundering.
Lloyd was hot and dug up some stats on his tablet that he said he was going to e-mail to Sipple. Four years previous to T.O.'s take-over (69-72), 42-4-2, .896; four conference championships, four bowl wins, two national championships, and a Heisman Trophy winner.
In the four years prior to Bo's arrival (04-07), 27-22, .551; no conference champs, one bowl win, no national championships, no Heisman winners.
Pop quiz, who had the easier job? The guy who had to feed the beast, or the guy who had to go out, re-assemble the beast and bring it back to life?
That being said, in the first four years of each coach's tenure, T.O. went 37-10-2; no conference champs, three bowl wins, no national champs, no Heisman winners. Bo, if he can manage a win against Iowa and in a bowl, will have gone 39-15, no conference champs, three bowl wins, no national champs, and no Heisman winners. So, you tell me, is Bo just as good, or just as bad as Osborne over the same period?
Cassandra dropped her rankings on me before making arrangements for a big-time deal involving Lt. Moore, Mr. Davison and oddly enough, the State Patrol. More about that, later.
She's got Okie State at number six. They are still theoretically alive for a shot at the Big One, but it would take LSU to beat Arkansas, Auburn to beat Alabama, Notre Dame to beat Stanford and a Virginia Tech loss in the ACC Champ in addition to beating OU to get there.
Stanford is number five, she hasn't taken Luck back, despite his begging (according to her), and just has a Notre Dame game to worry about. They could still get a BCS bid and not have to play in the Pac-12 champ game. They actually have a better chance at getting into the Big One than a lot of contenders. If they beat the Irish, and the SEC goes all sectarian, let's say LSU beats Arkansas, and then loses to Georgia in the SEC champ. Alabama beats Auburn, and Virginia Tech loses to either Virginia or Clemson. Stanford and Alabama could be in the Big One, even though neither team won their conference.
Virginia Tech is number four. They have to handle Virginia, then Clemson in the ACC champ. Let's say they do that, LSU handles Arkansas but then chokes in the SEC champ. You could have The Hokies and Alabama in the Big One.
The SEC West is 3-2-1. If I hear correctly, it is the first time a conference has been 1-2-3 since 1971, when the Big 8 did it with Nebraska-Oklahoma-Colorado. Arkansas is at three. If they upset LSU and Georgia, they could meet up with Alabama, again, in the re-match no one outside of Dixie would care about.
Alabama is number two, and in the perfect position. They win and they're in, and only need to beat Auburn. I say 'only' with the full knowledge that to minimize the 'Iron Bowl' in Alabama is tantamount to suggesting that Bear Bryant and J. Edgar Hoover slow-danced to 'Sentimental Journey'.
LSU is number one. No pressure, beat Arkansas, who has scored at least 29 points in every game (except for Alabama). What should make LSU fan nervous, though, in the last five years (including this one) LSU has lost 13 games. Three of them to Arkansas. Alabama, Mississippi and Florida have each topped them only twice. In the last five years, the widest margin of victory for either team was 8 points. Then they have to take on Georgia, in Atlanta, for the SEC champ. Georgia hasn't lost since week two and has just been finding ways to win. If they win those two games, LSU more than likely has a re-match with Alabama for the National Championship. If they win those three games, they deserve it.
To get back to Lt. Moore. I placed a call. Cassandra placed a call. I arranged to meet Mr. Davison to make a proposal. He was to meet me at the Capitol Inn, out on West O. We had a little back and forth, but in a nutshell (no pun intended), I was going to tell him how Lt. Moore had broken me, thanks to the heat that came down as a result of Mr. Davison stirring up the pot. I was pulling up stakes, quitting the biz and heading for a cabin on the Olympic Peninsula to hole up and await the zombie apocalypse.
I placed a call and told Lt. Moore that we had his doll-maker and that he was available for discussion at the hotel. I told him that once he had his man, we were done, I wanted nothing more to do with him, and however he wanted to handle his 'confidential informers' was up to him. He was in control and I would keep to my side of the turf.
Lloyd placed a call to a guy he knew at State Patrol. Their Office of Professional Standards had been hearing a lot of rumors about Lt. Moore, and had been preparing a file on him. The investigation had not been requested yet, so they were sitting on their hands for the time being. Lloyd told them to get ready. Some serious stuff was about to go down.
Lloyd and I set up across the street from the hotel. We watched as Lt. Moore, Mustache and Hands tromped up the stairs heading for Mr. Davison's room. He had the room at the end of the row on the second tier. That's usually known as coffin corner, since it is the furtherst from help, but the quietest, too.
As soon as they hit the second level, I nodded at Lloyd. He pulled out a cheap-ass disposable cell-phone. He punched send, and as soon as contact was established, he started in. "Hello? 9-1-1? I heard shots fired at the Capitol Hotel on West O...Ohmigawd, I see three guys with guns! Send help! Please oh please they're looking at me!"
Click. Toss. "Let's roll," he said, a lot less panicky than a few moments before.
Lt. Moore and his pals had smashed in the door, playing up the gorilla act. I'm still not sure exactly what went down, but as we were pulling away, we could hear the sirens of the approaching police cars.
That's when I heard four distinct shots. A short pause, and then one more shot.
When I last saw Lt. Moore in the re-view mirror, he and his pals were standing at the rail, badges out and weapons holstered. The LPD guys had their Beretta's out and were taking tactical approaches to secure the three supposed suspects.
"Damn, man. I didn't expect actual gun-play," I said. "I just thought there wouldn't be enough to explain what an IAD guy was doing there and start the ball rolling on a State Patrol investigation into the LPD's Internal Affairs arm. Lloyd, what did we just do?"
Lloyd looked at me, completely inscrutable. "We took care of some bad guys. That's what we do. Didn't you know that Moore carried a throw-down piece?"
"No. What do you mean?"
"He had a snub-nosed .38 in an ankle rig. That way he can leave it -- throw down-- at the scene if he needs to 'justify' a shooting. If things went they way I think they did, Mr. Davison has four itty-bitty holes in his chest, and four big chunks out of his back. And there is a .38-caliber bullet in the hotel wall."
"Lloyd. Serious question now. Did you set me up, too?"
"Plausible denability. No direct links. We didn't pull the trigger. We didn't tell anyone to kill anyone else. We also helped to clean up the dirtiest cop that has ever roamed the streets of this town."
"That's fine, I have no problem with taking out Moore. We didn't get him killed. I have no problem with wrecking his career and life, he deserved it. Can you tell me that Davison deserved to die?"
"No. I can't tell you that. But think about all the crap he's pulled and all the misery he's dropped on other people that wanted nothing to do with him. I'm not just talking about us. Look at the smuggling flights. Look at his super creepy treatment of that working girl, just to mess with you. Look at how he somehow just slid out of situations that seemed way to hinky for their own good. Maybe he didn't deserve to die for what he did to us. But I guarantee that he had a huge Karma bill to pay. It caught up with him today. That, and you don't know that he's dead."
Lloyd can be scary when he gets like this. Too serene, too calculating. It's almost like he just doesn't care. All I know is that I still want him on my side.
"You still up for the game, tomorrow?" he asked. Back to his usual, easy-going, Lloyd self.
"I don't know, man. This will take some time to sort through in my head."
"Suit yourself. Cassandra, Preacher and I are setting up at Our Lady. You should come. I'll buy you an Oppenheimer."
"That sounds good, Lloyd." I said. "A few of those might just take the first layer off my conscience."
Husk-husk and on the qb.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Into the Big House
We couldn't get away for the game. The whole Lt. Moore thing had us pretty much tethered to town. I was bummed, but it would have been tough to get tickets, anyway, I don't have the contacts in the D-Town area like I do in the major metros of the Big 12. Did I just say major metros and Big 12 in the same sentence? Wow, talk about a shift in perspective.
Additionally, Cassandra had called to say that she had a lead, but it would take some time to sort out. She said she didn't want to overplay her hand, so to wait for her while she tidied things up.
Lloyd was looking distraught. It was almost as if he couldn't get any bars on any of his devices. "What's your deal," I asked him, not exactly pleasantly.
"This game. There are so many elements to it that don't play to the Huskers' advantage, that it makes me nervous, jumpy even," he almost twitched out the last sentence.
"Break it down for me. We've got nothing to do but chill while we find out why Cassandra wanted us here."
"Shoelaces."
"Shoelaces?" I repeated, wondering if he had finally gone off the deep end."
"Dennard Robinson. Shoelaces is his nickname, he never ties them in the game. Anyway, he is the kind of mobile quarterback that Nebraska tends to have a hard time containing."
"I get that, but how's his passing?" I asked. "It's not just the mobile quarterbacks, it's mobile quarterbacks who can throw well."
"That's his big flaw," Lloyd conceded. "It's almost like we'll have to dare him to throw the ball, in order to take away his big play ability. He can go yard at any time."
"Who has beaten Michigan, this year?"
"Michigan State handled them, and Iowa, but both were on the road, and Michigan beat Northwestern."
"I'm not too worried about playing in the Big House," I said. "Nebraska has got a good road warrior mentality, and they got a nice rehearsal last week, dealing with a huge crowd in a much crazier situation."
"Michigan's defense allows fewer than sixteen points a game. They are not the inept defense that we've seen over the past three years."
"That's a padded stat," I said, dismissively. "They gave up 20+ points to four teams, only one of which is currently ranked. Most of their low-scoring points allowed games cam against lesser quality opponents. There are two directional Michigan schools and San Diego State in there. They gave up 31 to Notre Dame, and quality opponents have been able to score on them."
"So I guess I'm worried about nothing, huh?"
"Not at all. Be worried, but I think that Martinez has developed enough into a versatile quarterback that defenses have to respect his passing. It's almost to the point where defenses can't just load up the box to stop the run, and challenging him to throw it. If the receivers had avoided the dropsies, Martinez would have even better numbers."
"How are the Blackshirts going to stop Robinson?"
"If Carl is smart, and I'm pretty sure he is, he'll look at how Michigan State did it, and how Iowa did it. Michigan State got a huge assist from the wind, which Robinson can't throw in, and I hear it is windy in Ann Arbor. One other thing, Robinson's wrist is hurt, I'm willing to bet that they don't risk further injury with a lot of designed runs for him. The Blackshirts need to seize control of the ground game and stop Toussaint, who has gouged opponents over the last three weeks. Hmm, sounds like we heard the same thing about Silas Redd, last week."
"Trench warfare, again?" Lloyd asked expectantly.
"Yep, the fuglies on both sides of the ball win this one. Maybe with an assist from Maher on tilting the field position with his punting."
"Ok, let's have it. What do you think the final score will be, because despite your attempts at re-assuring me, I'm thinking Michigan will win it, 27-24."
"I think this is going to be another 'build up the lead and hold on' game," I said. Maybe kind of tight at the half, 17-7, a couple of scores after the break, Michigan pulls Robinson, and they make it interesting in the fourth quarter. Nebraska 27-21 over Wolverhampton."
Lloyd was at least attempting to relax.
Cassandra came hustling into the room. "I found her!"
"Who?"
"The model for the doll that got sent to Lt. Moore."
"Well, template more than model. She had no idea about the doll, or that Moore is trying to cover his ass."
"How do you know it was her?"
"I tailed Moore and his cronies one night. As he made his rounds, he stopped to 'chat' with this girl. She looked like the doll. After they left I asked her if she'd like to get out from under his thumb. I told her we could pull it off. She's way out on a limb, here."
"Ok, I get it. But what's the connection."
"You'll love this. She told me she had this weird John take her to a nice hotel. He dressed her in clothes like the ones on the doll, and took a bunch of pictures."
"Not too weird, considering her line of work," Lloyd chimed in.
"That's not the weird part. The weird part is that he didn't even want sex, and after about an hour he broke down in tears, sobbing about how no-one called him on 9/11, even though he was a pilot, and that he had insight, and on and on."
Goody, I thought. Mr. Davison is back. He's really starting to irritate me, getting me mixed up with Lt. Moore.
"Anybody up for a double reversal take-down?" I asked.
Lloyd and Cassandra's hands both shot up.
Husk-husk and on the qb.
Additionally, Cassandra had called to say that she had a lead, but it would take some time to sort out. She said she didn't want to overplay her hand, so to wait for her while she tidied things up.
Lloyd was looking distraught. It was almost as if he couldn't get any bars on any of his devices. "What's your deal," I asked him, not exactly pleasantly.
"This game. There are so many elements to it that don't play to the Huskers' advantage, that it makes me nervous, jumpy even," he almost twitched out the last sentence.
"Break it down for me. We've got nothing to do but chill while we find out why Cassandra wanted us here."
"Shoelaces."
"Shoelaces?" I repeated, wondering if he had finally gone off the deep end."
"Dennard Robinson. Shoelaces is his nickname, he never ties them in the game. Anyway, he is the kind of mobile quarterback that Nebraska tends to have a hard time containing."
"I get that, but how's his passing?" I asked. "It's not just the mobile quarterbacks, it's mobile quarterbacks who can throw well."
"That's his big flaw," Lloyd conceded. "It's almost like we'll have to dare him to throw the ball, in order to take away his big play ability. He can go yard at any time."
"Who has beaten Michigan, this year?"
"Michigan State handled them, and Iowa, but both were on the road, and Michigan beat Northwestern."
"I'm not too worried about playing in the Big House," I said. "Nebraska has got a good road warrior mentality, and they got a nice rehearsal last week, dealing with a huge crowd in a much crazier situation."
"Michigan's defense allows fewer than sixteen points a game. They are not the inept defense that we've seen over the past three years."
"That's a padded stat," I said, dismissively. "They gave up 20+ points to four teams, only one of which is currently ranked. Most of their low-scoring points allowed games cam against lesser quality opponents. There are two directional Michigan schools and San Diego State in there. They gave up 31 to Notre Dame, and quality opponents have been able to score on them."
"So I guess I'm worried about nothing, huh?"
"Not at all. Be worried, but I think that Martinez has developed enough into a versatile quarterback that defenses have to respect his passing. It's almost to the point where defenses can't just load up the box to stop the run, and challenging him to throw it. If the receivers had avoided the dropsies, Martinez would have even better numbers."
"How are the Blackshirts going to stop Robinson?"
"If Carl is smart, and I'm pretty sure he is, he'll look at how Michigan State did it, and how Iowa did it. Michigan State got a huge assist from the wind, which Robinson can't throw in, and I hear it is windy in Ann Arbor. One other thing, Robinson's wrist is hurt, I'm willing to bet that they don't risk further injury with a lot of designed runs for him. The Blackshirts need to seize control of the ground game and stop Toussaint, who has gouged opponents over the last three weeks. Hmm, sounds like we heard the same thing about Silas Redd, last week."
"Trench warfare, again?" Lloyd asked expectantly.
"Yep, the fuglies on both sides of the ball win this one. Maybe with an assist from Maher on tilting the field position with his punting."
"Ok, let's have it. What do you think the final score will be, because despite your attempts at re-assuring me, I'm thinking Michigan will win it, 27-24."
"I think this is going to be another 'build up the lead and hold on' game," I said. Maybe kind of tight at the half, 17-7, a couple of scores after the break, Michigan pulls Robinson, and they make it interesting in the fourth quarter. Nebraska 27-21 over Wolverhampton."
Lloyd was at least attempting to relax.
Cassandra came hustling into the room. "I found her!"
"Who?"
"The model for the doll that got sent to Lt. Moore."
"Well, template more than model. She had no idea about the doll, or that Moore is trying to cover his ass."
"How do you know it was her?"
"I tailed Moore and his cronies one night. As he made his rounds, he stopped to 'chat' with this girl. She looked like the doll. After they left I asked her if she'd like to get out from under his thumb. I told her we could pull it off. She's way out on a limb, here."
"Ok, I get it. But what's the connection."
"You'll love this. She told me she had this weird John take her to a nice hotel. He dressed her in clothes like the ones on the doll, and took a bunch of pictures."
"Not too weird, considering her line of work," Lloyd chimed in.
"That's not the weird part. The weird part is that he didn't even want sex, and after about an hour he broke down in tears, sobbing about how no-one called him on 9/11, even though he was a pilot, and that he had insight, and on and on."
Goody, I thought. Mr. Davison is back. He's really starting to irritate me, getting me mixed up with Lt. Moore.
"Anybody up for a double reversal take-down?" I asked.
Lloyd and Cassandra's hands both shot up.
Husk-husk and on the qb.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
The picks are getting few
I had my hands full digging up all the crap Lt. Moore had been up to. He was on the pad from just about every branch of the vice squad, and no-one had been able to step up and take him down. The old phrase about the fox and then hen-house kept coming to mind. He was able to move with impunity because he was selective about his shake-downs. He didn't go after the biggest bookie in town, but numbers two and three were deep into him. He essentially sat on the board of an escort service, and maintained a network that kept an eye on the local force, always keeping an eye out for 'talent'. Mustache and Hands wouldn't be around for ever. Empire building within the structure. Just needed to find the one string to pull to bring it all down.
That's why helping him had such appeal. If he was interested in finding out who was shaking his cage, he must be scared. If he's scared, he might make a mistake. At least that's what I was thinking when the coffee wasn't warm and the bourbon wasn't working. The thing that really pissed me off, was that I wasn't getting paid. Stupid things said in the heat of the moment.
I did have an ace up my sleeve, but more on that later. Seeking momentary escape from the underbelly of town, I called a few friends to chit-chat about football.
"Leroix! My man, what have you got for me this week?" I called out, forcing enthusiasm.
"Hoo, cher. I gots four games to keep an eye on, but dey all pretty much decided befo' deh kickoff. Les Tigres L'Orange ar at Nort' Carolinah State. Clemson should handle dat pretty easy, say 45-21. Arkansaw gets to play Missippi State, which might be good for a half, Piggies 41-20. Deh Gumps have a tussle wit' deh mighty powerhouse of Geo-gia Southen, If Saban ain't restin' his starters after deh fust possession of deh second half, den he's a foo. Bama 56-13. Les Tigres have to all deh way to Oxford and play Missippi. Dey coach is resigning, and dey starting quarterback and running back done got suspended. I want to see deh thud string in by deh second quarter. LSU 63-7."
"I need you explain how Clemson gets into the National Championship Game."
"Sit back and relax, 'cause dis is intrestin', not plausible, but intrestin'. Clemson beats NC-State and Sout' Carolinah and win deh ACC Championship game. Den dey need help. USC beats Oregon, Auburn beats Alabama, LSU beats Arkansaw, and den loses in deh SEC Championship. Okie State beats OU in Bedlam, and dat would leave Clemson and Okie State in position to play for deh NGC...It could happen, right, cher?"
"Sure, Leroix. Enjoy the games."
My next call went out to Bubba Tataglia, who was in an irritable mood. "Bubba, how're you holding up?"
"I tell you what, I am worried as a cat in the toddler room of a daycare. The Baptists can't stop anybody, but they're weapon is the pass, which is the same thing that Tech killed us with. This will look like a basketball score, but as long as OU wins, I don't care. I'm thinking this will be 63-52, Sooners. Over in Stillwater, they got people just dying to spend cash on Big 12 Championship and National Championship T-shirts, and I can't say I blame them. They've got Iowa State, this week, who they will nuke like they did Tech, last week, I'm thinking 70-10, Cow Rapers. Then they get an extra week to prepare for my Sooners, who will go in without their best running back or receiver. Everyone Better get used to the idea of Okie State playing down in New Orleans."
Bubba's confidence in his team was less than contagious. I placed a call to Marcus, who had moved his VW Combie to Eugene, for the duration.
"How's life among the trees, Marcus.?"
"Dude, I can focus like a laser-beam on the Oregon game. No Stanford to worry about, no Boise State, just waiting for the University of Spoiled Children to show up and be the latest victims of the Quack Attack, dude."
"I take it you're expecting Oregon to win?"
"Dude, Trojan Man may be able to keep it within a couple of scores, but the Quackers are hot. I'm thinking 48-34, Quackers, dude."
I had to let Lloyd have his say, even though his games were not exactly earth-shakers. "Michigan State will handle Indiana, at home, and be within reach of going to Indianapolis. Sparty 38-21. Minnesota has to go to Northwestern, this will be the better game to watch, but The Wildcats pull away, late, 34-21."
That just left Grandma, who I was hoping had let some of her homicidal rage abate, since last week. "Granny, what have you got for me?"
"Wisconsin will handle Illinois, who has collapsed, 45-10. Iowa will be in a tussle at Purdue, but I don't think the Boilmakers will be able to sustain the emotion from last week, Iowa 27-24. In the Big Game this week, we have the poster children of corruption and avarice playing against each other. If I could, I'd have this game played on the ninth circle of Hell. Columbus is a close second. In a long-asses boring game, where the fans should be ashamed of themselves, but aren't, The Buckeys will prevail 13-10 over Pederast State."
"Thanks, Grandma."
I was reminded this week, that there is a quote that says in effect, 'For evil to flourish just takes good men to do nothing'. I was being pretty complicit in helping Lt. Moore, who was a local evil. He had Lloyd and I working to secure his position. He didn't know about Cassandra, and Edmund Burke never said anything about a good woman.
Plus I got a hold of some incredible footage of Joe Paterno's statue being removed. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5zPMbPLxXk
My Bad. Wrong Joe.
Husk-husk and on the qb.
That's why helping him had such appeal. If he was interested in finding out who was shaking his cage, he must be scared. If he's scared, he might make a mistake. At least that's what I was thinking when the coffee wasn't warm and the bourbon wasn't working. The thing that really pissed me off, was that I wasn't getting paid. Stupid things said in the heat of the moment.
I did have an ace up my sleeve, but more on that later. Seeking momentary escape from the underbelly of town, I called a few friends to chit-chat about football.
"Leroix! My man, what have you got for me this week?" I called out, forcing enthusiasm.
"Hoo, cher. I gots four games to keep an eye on, but dey all pretty much decided befo' deh kickoff. Les Tigres L'Orange ar at Nort' Carolinah State. Clemson should handle dat pretty easy, say 45-21. Arkansaw gets to play Missippi State, which might be good for a half, Piggies 41-20. Deh Gumps have a tussle wit' deh mighty powerhouse of Geo-gia Southen, If Saban ain't restin' his starters after deh fust possession of deh second half, den he's a foo. Bama 56-13. Les Tigres have to all deh way to Oxford and play Missippi. Dey coach is resigning, and dey starting quarterback and running back done got suspended. I want to see deh thud string in by deh second quarter. LSU 63-7."
"I need you explain how Clemson gets into the National Championship Game."
"Sit back and relax, 'cause dis is intrestin', not plausible, but intrestin'. Clemson beats NC-State and Sout' Carolinah and win deh ACC Championship game. Den dey need help. USC beats Oregon, Auburn beats Alabama, LSU beats Arkansaw, and den loses in deh SEC Championship. Okie State beats OU in Bedlam, and dat would leave Clemson and Okie State in position to play for deh NGC...It could happen, right, cher?"
"Sure, Leroix. Enjoy the games."
My next call went out to Bubba Tataglia, who was in an irritable mood. "Bubba, how're you holding up?"
"I tell you what, I am worried as a cat in the toddler room of a daycare. The Baptists can't stop anybody, but they're weapon is the pass, which is the same thing that Tech killed us with. This will look like a basketball score, but as long as OU wins, I don't care. I'm thinking this will be 63-52, Sooners. Over in Stillwater, they got people just dying to spend cash on Big 12 Championship and National Championship T-shirts, and I can't say I blame them. They've got Iowa State, this week, who they will nuke like they did Tech, last week, I'm thinking 70-10, Cow Rapers. Then they get an extra week to prepare for my Sooners, who will go in without their best running back or receiver. Everyone Better get used to the idea of Okie State playing down in New Orleans."
Bubba's confidence in his team was less than contagious. I placed a call to Marcus, who had moved his VW Combie to Eugene, for the duration.
"How's life among the trees, Marcus.?"
"Dude, I can focus like a laser-beam on the Oregon game. No Stanford to worry about, no Boise State, just waiting for the University of Spoiled Children to show up and be the latest victims of the Quack Attack, dude."
"I take it you're expecting Oregon to win?"
"Dude, Trojan Man may be able to keep it within a couple of scores, but the Quackers are hot. I'm thinking 48-34, Quackers, dude."
I had to let Lloyd have his say, even though his games were not exactly earth-shakers. "Michigan State will handle Indiana, at home, and be within reach of going to Indianapolis. Sparty 38-21. Minnesota has to go to Northwestern, this will be the better game to watch, but The Wildcats pull away, late, 34-21."
That just left Grandma, who I was hoping had let some of her homicidal rage abate, since last week. "Granny, what have you got for me?"
"Wisconsin will handle Illinois, who has collapsed, 45-10. Iowa will be in a tussle at Purdue, but I don't think the Boilmakers will be able to sustain the emotion from last week, Iowa 27-24. In the Big Game this week, we have the poster children of corruption and avarice playing against each other. If I could, I'd have this game played on the ninth circle of Hell. Columbus is a close second. In a long-asses boring game, where the fans should be ashamed of themselves, but aren't, The Buckeys will prevail 13-10 over Pederast State."
"Thanks, Grandma."
I was reminded this week, that there is a quote that says in effect, 'For evil to flourish just takes good men to do nothing'. I was being pretty complicit in helping Lt. Moore, who was a local evil. He had Lloyd and I working to secure his position. He didn't know about Cassandra, and Edmund Burke never said anything about a good woman.
Plus I got a hold of some incredible footage of Joe Paterno's statue being removed. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5zPMbPLxXk
My Bad. Wrong Joe.
Husk-husk and on the qb.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Magnificent Seven
I was just sitting there, eating my sandwich when Cassandra, looking quite irritated, stormed in and flopped into the booth opposite me.
"Hi," I said. "You're looking radioactive, today," hoping a little levity would cheer here up, a bit. It didn't work.
"What?" she demanded. "I have to be all sunshine and smiles all day, every day or something?"
"No. I was just--"
"Just what? Going to 'cheer me up'. Going to make fun? Take a piss? What?"
I sat back, pushing my back into the squishy vinyl of the booth. I picked up my coffee and stared at Cassandra through the wisps of steam. "Let it out. Unload. Someone pissed on your cheerios, and even though it wasn't me, you obviously need to vent, so, go for it."
"Andrew broke up with me."
"What?"
"By text, no less. How...what's the word I'm looking for? Infuriating!"
"Andrew who?"
"Luck."
"Andrew Luck?"
"Yes."
"Andrew Luck, the Stanford quarterback?"
"Yes. Have you been paying attention all year, or not?"
"Well, yeah. I just thought it was something you were just saying. Like when I see a Jaguar XKE and say 'Hey, who stole my car?'"
"No. He really WAS my boyfriend. Now he says he needs time to concentrate on his classwork."
"Ouch."
"Ouch is right. I'll bet it's that Chelsea bitch."
"Ummm, were rapidly falling into territory I have no knowledge or familiarity with--"
"You're right. I'm sorry. I should really be talking to someone who's capable of emotional engagement."
Smart kids are mean. "I feel you," I said, bristling and hoping she'd notice the choice of words. "Since I am obviously incapable of helping you, right now. Let's just go through you're rankings and then you can be on your way. I, on the meantime, will go find a support group to help me get in touch with my inner child, or some shit."
Sometime during the discussion, the waitress had arrived at the table, placed a coffee mug in front of Cassandra, filled it, and stood patiently waiting to take her order, pen poised over pad. She hit the gap in our conversation like a dogging linebacker. "Can I get you anything, hon?"
Cassandra looked up at her, smiled and said, "The Coffee's fine. I don't need anything, or anyone else."
Judy, the waitress, looked over at me. I waved her off and watched as she flipped her pad closed, turned on her heel and headed back to the kitchen.
"Shall we?" I asked.
"Fine. I'm down to seven teams that are worth a damn. Clemson is number seven. They have North Carolina State this week. They finish with South Carolina, which could be tough, and then the ACC Championship game, which will probably be a re-match with Virginia Tech."
"Who do you have at six?"
"Oklahoma. They have one loss, but it was at home, to a bad team. They have to go to Baylor this week, host Iowa State, next week, and then the Bedlam game with Okie State. They have injuries to major playmakers. Right now, I really don't see them beating OSU, but they could get into a BCS game, how about Oklahoma-Nebraska in the Fiesta?"
I kind of shuddered at that thought. "Who's at number five?"
"Arkansas. They'll pound Mississippi State, this week, and a showdown with LSU, next week. Get this, if Arkansas beats LSU, and Auburn upsets Alabama, Arkansas would be in the SEC Championship."
"That's a lot of ifs. I've also seen a bowl prediction with Arkansas and Nebraska in the Insight bowl. Who is in at number four?"
"Oregon. They obliterated my poor Cardinal. Made Luck look like the complete jerk he is, and moved into striking distance of a National Championship. They have to beat USC and Oregon State, and get some help, but it's possible. If LSU and Okie State both lose, you could be looking at a Oregon-Alabama National Championship."
"Is Alabama number three?"
"Yes. Bama has to beat Georgia Southern. You know, Nebraska should look into scheduling FCS games at the end of the season to catch a break, like the SEC does. They finish the season against Auburn in the Iron Bowl. Check it, they could back into the National Championship game. If LSU were to lose in the SEC Championship, Alabama could slip in to play Okie State, even though both LSU and Alabama would have one loss, and LSU has beaten Alabama. Wouldn't that piss people off?"
"Speaking of Okie State, are they your number two."
"Ranked second, I think this may be the highest ranking OSU has ever had. I'd need to check, thoogh. They have an easy game with Iowa State, and an extra week to prepare for OU...get used to the idea of Oklahoma State with their Geritol swilling quarterback playing for a National Championship."
"Against who? Pray, tell."
"Louisiana State is number one. They will crush Mississippi, this week. Need to handle a game with Arkansas, and then probably Georgia in the SEC Championship. That will be a tough run, but worth it for a home game for the National Championship."
"What did you do with Boise State?"
"Dropped them off the map. The Broncos were an all or nothing deal. I had them at number one until they lost, and lost they did, at home, to a two-loss, unranked TCU team. Now that the bubble has burst, I don't think anyone could make the argument that BSU would survive a Big 10 or SEC or even Pac-12 schedule where you have to play a ranked team every other week."
"Thanks for the info," I said.
"I gotta go," she said. She left the coffee Judy had brought, untouched.
I paid and left a tip for two bottomless coffees.
Husk-husk and on the QB
"Hi," I said. "You're looking radioactive, today," hoping a little levity would cheer here up, a bit. It didn't work.
"What?" she demanded. "I have to be all sunshine and smiles all day, every day or something?"
"No. I was just--"
"Just what? Going to 'cheer me up'. Going to make fun? Take a piss? What?"
I sat back, pushing my back into the squishy vinyl of the booth. I picked up my coffee and stared at Cassandra through the wisps of steam. "Let it out. Unload. Someone pissed on your cheerios, and even though it wasn't me, you obviously need to vent, so, go for it."
"Andrew broke up with me."
"What?"
"By text, no less. How...what's the word I'm looking for? Infuriating!"
"Andrew who?"
"Luck."
"Andrew Luck?"
"Yes."
"Andrew Luck, the Stanford quarterback?"
"Yes. Have you been paying attention all year, or not?"
"Well, yeah. I just thought it was something you were just saying. Like when I see a Jaguar XKE and say 'Hey, who stole my car?'"
"No. He really WAS my boyfriend. Now he says he needs time to concentrate on his classwork."
"Ouch."
"Ouch is right. I'll bet it's that Chelsea bitch."
"Ummm, were rapidly falling into territory I have no knowledge or familiarity with--"
"You're right. I'm sorry. I should really be talking to someone who's capable of emotional engagement."
Smart kids are mean. "I feel you," I said, bristling and hoping she'd notice the choice of words. "Since I am obviously incapable of helping you, right now. Let's just go through you're rankings and then you can be on your way. I, on the meantime, will go find a support group to help me get in touch with my inner child, or some shit."
Sometime during the discussion, the waitress had arrived at the table, placed a coffee mug in front of Cassandra, filled it, and stood patiently waiting to take her order, pen poised over pad. She hit the gap in our conversation like a dogging linebacker. "Can I get you anything, hon?"
Cassandra looked up at her, smiled and said, "The Coffee's fine. I don't need anything, or anyone else."
Judy, the waitress, looked over at me. I waved her off and watched as she flipped her pad closed, turned on her heel and headed back to the kitchen.
"Shall we?" I asked.
"Fine. I'm down to seven teams that are worth a damn. Clemson is number seven. They have North Carolina State this week. They finish with South Carolina, which could be tough, and then the ACC Championship game, which will probably be a re-match with Virginia Tech."
"Who do you have at six?"
"Oklahoma. They have one loss, but it was at home, to a bad team. They have to go to Baylor this week, host Iowa State, next week, and then the Bedlam game with Okie State. They have injuries to major playmakers. Right now, I really don't see them beating OSU, but they could get into a BCS game, how about Oklahoma-Nebraska in the Fiesta?"
I kind of shuddered at that thought. "Who's at number five?"
"Arkansas. They'll pound Mississippi State, this week, and a showdown with LSU, next week. Get this, if Arkansas beats LSU, and Auburn upsets Alabama, Arkansas would be in the SEC Championship."
"That's a lot of ifs. I've also seen a bowl prediction with Arkansas and Nebraska in the Insight bowl. Who is in at number four?"
"Oregon. They obliterated my poor Cardinal. Made Luck look like the complete jerk he is, and moved into striking distance of a National Championship. They have to beat USC and Oregon State, and get some help, but it's possible. If LSU and Okie State both lose, you could be looking at a Oregon-Alabama National Championship."
"Is Alabama number three?"
"Yes. Bama has to beat Georgia Southern. You know, Nebraska should look into scheduling FCS games at the end of the season to catch a break, like the SEC does. They finish the season against Auburn in the Iron Bowl. Check it, they could back into the National Championship game. If LSU were to lose in the SEC Championship, Alabama could slip in to play Okie State, even though both LSU and Alabama would have one loss, and LSU has beaten Alabama. Wouldn't that piss people off?"
"Speaking of Okie State, are they your number two."
"Ranked second, I think this may be the highest ranking OSU has ever had. I'd need to check, thoogh. They have an easy game with Iowa State, and an extra week to prepare for OU...get used to the idea of Oklahoma State with their Geritol swilling quarterback playing for a National Championship."
"Against who? Pray, tell."
"Louisiana State is number one. They will crush Mississippi, this week. Need to handle a game with Arkansas, and then probably Georgia in the SEC Championship. That will be a tough run, but worth it for a home game for the National Championship."
"What did you do with Boise State?"
"Dropped them off the map. The Broncos were an all or nothing deal. I had them at number one until they lost, and lost they did, at home, to a two-loss, unranked TCU team. Now that the bubble has burst, I don't think anyone could make the argument that BSU would survive a Big 10 or SEC or even Pac-12 schedule where you have to play a ranked team every other week."
"Thanks for the info," I said.
"I gotta go," she said. She left the coffee Judy had brought, untouched.
I paid and left a tip for two bottomless coffees.
Husk-husk and on the QB
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